tot bontot

My mother in law recently hypothesized that adults love amusement parks because it reminds them of the wonderful memories they had as toddlers when family members would pick them up and run with them, throw them, and make them giggle.  We decided to attempt to re-experience childhood by heading to the indoor amusement park with the longest indoor rollercoaster in SE Asia at the Berjaya Times Square, a local shopping center, to enjoy our Martin Luther King, Jr Day holiday. 

I haven’t been to an amusement park for at least 7 years and I was amazed at how scary some of the rides seemed.  Now that I’m past the teen years I found myself feeling a little more cautious about my safety on Malaysian-regulated machinery designed to swing me around in 80 km loops while also regretting my choice of a fast food lunch.  Originally we had planned to go to a movie and only peek in on the amusement park but nothing we wanted to see was showing so we wandered eating unhealthy food and browsing strange wares until we made it the amusement park, saw how cool it was, and called our babysitter to ask if she wouldn’t mind staying a bit longer so we could play.  It was fun just getting all excited and running in to have the place largely to ourselves as MLK isn’t a holiday for the local Malaysians so we were only competing with random weekday mall-goers.  For me it was also a late realization of a my teenage desire to hit the boardwalk / carnival / amusement park with my *boy*friend, something I’d wanted to do after seeing it in countless movies.  Also, during teenage summer trips with my family to Six Flags I’d been hanging out with my sisters and we’d be trying to look cool but it was tough when you’re with your mom and the group of teenagers next to you in line is all paired off and looking adult and independent.  At last! 

We took all the rides and I was proud of S because he’s a bit scared of heights.  I have to admit, this was the first time I felt so nauseated after a ride that I needed to expunge the contents of my stomach before the pièce de résistance, the roller coaster that looped over multiple stories of the mall and twisted and looped.  It was fun!  In the end, however, I know that it’s probably time to pass the amusement park-going torch on to my kids, who will be begging to go soon enough while I hold onto their bags by the exit path at whatever newfangled amusement park they happen to like at the time.

A view of the indoor amusement park from the shops - you can see the many rides occupying the floor and air of the park.

So, what sorts of rides do I expect Calliope will like when she reaches those dreaded teenage years?  Well, S and I ran some tests on what she considers fun…

CONFIRMED FUN:  Getting thrown around by one’s Dad, with increasing “air time,”

CONFIRMED FUN: Swinging around like a hammer in the Olympic tradition by one’s Dad

CONFIRMED FUN: Being held upside down and then wiggled by one’s holder

FUN-LEVEL WANING: Getting tired

FUN FAIL - NOT FUN ANYMORE:  Crying after being surprised by the loud gonging noises she accidentally made when pulling gongs off the shelf

Assessment?  There are some definite similarities between baby rides and adult amusement parks.  Take home message here?  Roller coasters and other nausea-inducing rides allowed me to get closer to my baby by helping me better understand how the rides her dad gives her might make her feel.  Baby, I sympathize and am jealous of your excitements at the same time.

Yesterday S, C, and I embarked on our first ever Thaipusam festival visit - none of us had ever been before and it was an incredible experience.  Thaipusam is a festival celebrating the Hindu god Lord Muruga, considered the especial Hindu god of the Tamil people of southern India who have migrated all over Southeast Asia.  In gratitude for answered prayers and as penance for sins, devotees carry kadavi, or burdens, and offer them at temples.  We saw all sorts of demonstrations of devotion - heads are shaved and covered with ash and saffron, cheeks and tongues are pierced with skewers of all sizes, bare-handed carrying of braziers of hot coals, skin on the chest and back riddled with fish hooks weighted with fruits and chains, huge parade float-like cages covered with peacock feathers and pictures of Lord Muruga carried by individuals in special harnesses, babies of previously childless couples carried in hammocks strung on sugar cane boughs, and jugs and jugs of milk balanced on heads. In Kuala Lumpur respects are paid Batu Caves, the largest temple dedicated to Lord Muruga in the world, and complete their pilgrimage by climbing 272 steep steps to his shrine at the very top.   Everyone who made offerings had fasted the 45 days prior on a vegetarian / vegan diet and all those who did the piercings were in a trance state.  It was amazing to be welcomed into the ritual of another religion which clearly required huge discipline and concentration.

We took a train to Batu Caves from KL Sentral Stesen (Indeed - that translates from Bahasa Melayu into “KL Central Station”.  Gotta love cognates!)  On the way there (and back!) C was spoiled by the attentions of the entire car and I was fortunate enough to be offered a seat (both ways as well - thank goodness!) because I was carrying her.  While we were there we enjoyed getting to see the Hindu community’s big day - we took pictures, strolled the booths, marveled at the various kadavi, and even made the sweaty crowded journey up and down the steps with Calliope in tow.  It was a little crazy but we enjoyed it immensely.  In homage to the field trip, here are pictures from our day!

(All descriptions clockwise from top left) Staircase leading up to the Batu Cave temple, bare feet of one woman in saffron robes as she carried a milk-jug up the steps, fruits attached to fishhooks left in the temple as offerings after being carried up on someone’s body, shining milk jug atop a woman’s head on it’s way to be offered.

Some of the extreme kavadis: This man dancing while holding his float-like kavadi, one of the oldest kavadi-carriers I saw about starting up the steps, and a man hanging completely by fish hooks on the path leading up to the temple

Child Devotees: A couple carrying their child between them on a sugar cane hammock in gratitude for relief from childlessness, a mother assisting her baby in making the climb up, a mother helping her son prepare his offering at the top of the steps inside the temple, a girl with her father watching devotees make their way up the steps, a young boy being guided by his father to make the journey

Fish hook kavadis: fruits covered with ash, fragrant leaves, tiny jugs of milk, front/profile view of the bearers one of whom has a red powder (probably tumeric) being wiped from his face

Young men proving their devotion: This young man was supported by his family members as he steadied himself to continue climbing, two men with matching large skewers through their cheeks and limes hanging by fish-hooks from their chests, Lord Muruga’s statue from below (the largest statue of him in the world), three young men waiting for the steps to clear somewhat so they can bound up the stairs in sync

Shrines and Neighbors: Lorde Muruga shrine at the top, top view of a kavadi as we descended, the man who we walked next to for much of the journey as his family and friends shouted “Velve! Velve!” to encourage him, a smaller shrine also in the cave, one of the our neighboring walker’s companions who threw flower petals and ash to prepare the way for him

Animal Symbolism: above and below view of kavadi decorated with peacock feathers which symbolize Lord Muruga (a peacock is his mount, symbolizing how he is above vanity), monkeys who inhabit the area near Batu Caves and are S’s chinese zodiac so he couldn’t resist taking some pictures, a smaller peacock kadavi, roosters who are always at Lord Muruga’s temples as that is the form he transformed his enemies into when he vanquished them

One man we saw early on smoked fragrant cigars from a tray held by a friend to help him maintain focus - on his back he carried many small pots of milk attached to his skin by fish hooks

We were there!  Family photo in front of Lord Muruga’s shrine, leaving KL Sentral Stesen for Batu Caves, family close up, C after a mid-morning nursing session in the AV booth, S above the huge mass of people inside the Batu Cave temple

So, ever since I was a little kid I believed people who made perfect pizza crusts by tossing them into the air or formed noodles by swinging ropes of dough possessed ancient cooking secrets.  That being said, look at me! 

Last week one of my friends came over and taught me how to make Chinese noodles.  It involved mixing a simple dough of wheat flour, salt, and water, kneading it, rolling it into progressively skinnier logs brushed with oil, letting them rest, and then SWINGING and stretching the logs into NOODLES!  We boiled the noodles and then ate them with a veggie chicken soup/sauce - delicious!  See below for pictures of my childhood dream realized :) 

The author of the article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” puts forth that super-strict Chinese parents insult and shame their kids because they recognize, more intelligently than “Western” parents, how strong their kids are and teach them inner confidence by restricting their freedoms and proctoring the first tests of life within the high standards of the home. I am a Chinese American, raised by two Chinese immigrants.  When I read this article I recognized many of the methods my parents used during my childhood and was surprised by my mixed reaction. The words were written in an attention catching and entertaining way and I could have easily written it off as “just one woman’s opinion” or “there was some truth to it” or “she’s probably leaving bits out or exaggerating to be funny” but her superior tone made me uncomfortable. I know that when my parents did what they did they gave up so much for me and invested their lives to help me become a successful adult, which I venture to say I have become (so far - Ivy League education, well-paying job in finance, diplomat spouse, healthy child). Yet I know enough kids raised under these restrictions to be aware of the “not-so-successful” stories that emerge later in the lives of these child prodigies when they finally have room to make their own choices or form their own identities. I felt a little twinge of shame when I read her self-promoting descriptions of yelling at her children. Personally, it took me some time on my own, after arriving in college, to get over hearing that I was lazy garbage so I probably was feeling a little sorry for her kids and worried for anyone whose parents took notes from the article. I’m not an advocate of permissive parenting as I still have plenty to figure out - my baby is only 10 months old! - but what I read in this author’s words was the sort of parenting philosophy extremism that stressed me out from the moment my baby was born. The co-sleeping vs ferberizing camps, the demand feeding versus scheduling vitriol, the breast vs bottle debate, et cetera. I appreciate that she’s a proud mom and she has two daughters who seem to have turned out well under her care. From what I can tell, you have to really own whatever parenting style you choose for your children if you don’t want to be consumed by guilt or self-doubt or what-ifs about how you live your life and guide your family’s life. So, sure, I respect the author for doing her best and staying committed to her methods and children - I just find her disregard for others, including her husband, counterproductive if she really is trying to help us figure our how we can have kids as great as hers. By the time we make it as parents, teenage moms and IVF patrons alike, I think we’ve usually figured out it’s going to be hard (first hint: the birth). Every parent and every child has different talents and challenges which affect their relationships and development in unique ways. Add on top of that the many different combinations of siblings, parents, family situations, and cultures that people come from and no one can really understand or judge some one else. Have I figured out my point? Well, it’s not really that new or deep but here it is: bragging is fine, insulting is not. There’s a parent’s honest pride and then there is non-productive judgment. We can learn from each other and swap stories but in the end, if we’ve made it anywhere as parents and children (and thousands of years of human history suggest that we have), I think we all deserve each others’ respect.

Since moving to Malaysia I have been indulging in binge reading to relax from the constant travel, holiday entertaining, and all the life change that I’ve experienced generally (moving, motherhood, trailing spouse-hood, etc).  I just thought it would be fun to review what I’ve been reading and tally up:

• Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
  Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
  Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson (3 book series)
• The Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz
  Curse of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz
  Revenge of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz
  The Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz (4 book series)
• The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan
  The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan
  The Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan
  The Battle of the Labyrinth by Rick Riordan
  The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan
  The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and The Olympians 5+1 book series)
• The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
  Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
  Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (3 book series)
• Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins (1st of a 5 book series - will probably read more)
• Uglies by Scott Westerfield (1st in a 3+1 book series - doubt I will continue)

I am sure I have forgotten some but that’s quite a few books in very quick succession.  Sometimes I get mad at myself because even though the serial books are usually published at least several months (more often at least a year) apart and people savor and review the books before the next installment is released, I just binge and read one a day until they’re all gone.  So, I’m usually left hungering for more.  I love Young Adult Fiction and Humor.  So far I’ve been recommended:

• Candymakers by Wendy Mass
• Fablehaven Series by Brandon Mull
• Freedom by John Franzen
• NYPL 2010 Librarian’s List

That being said, any other recommendations out there?   If you have any ideas, let me know!